Negative Vibes Only

First, Apologies for the delay

Dear readers, it has been awhile since you have heard from me. The past 6 months (eclipse season) have been one of the more intense periods in my life. I won’t say this has been the worst season of my life—I have definitely seen worse. But it has been difficult and overwhelming. In the past 6 months, I have had to deal with:

• Loss of a job.

• An extensive, frustrating, and fruitless job search. Also, dealing with the unemployment system was soul-sucking, humiliating, and terrible.

• I did finally get hired after 5 months of searching, but the new job is entry-level and very low pay. I am thankful for an income, but I am, still, rather gutted. I continue to search for something better.

• A mysterious illness that decimated my energy levels. Something caused my thyroid levels to plummet, which created a cascade effect on many other physical systems. (Hair falling out, extreme fatigue, weight gain, hormonal problems, cardiovascular issues, etc.)

• A so-called friend stole a large sum of money from me. I still can’t really believe it. How are people so awful sometimes?

• My oldest child got into a car accident. He is fine, thankfully, but the car was quite crumpled. I was without a vehicle for several weeks.

• Dealing with insurance for the car accident has been difficult. It is still not fully resolved.

• Puberty hit my youngest child pretty hard, and he developed a serious mental health problem. He is refusing all kinds of treatment that I suggest, and it is scary and heartbreaking watching him suffer. And honestly, it’s difficult to deal with, when he lashes out irrationally.

• A raccoon broke into my chicken coop and killed 2 of my 3 chickens. I had to give the remaining one to a sanctuary. I thought my coop was secure, but raccoons are tricky, and strong. My chickens were always a bright part of my day.

• A nonprofit organization that I was volunteering with fell apart due to poor leadership. It was messy and stressful.

Is that enough pain for one short stretch of time, Universe?

Is it over yet???

Sometimes life throws you hard times. That’s just how it is. Some seasons are more difficult than others. The reality is, very little of what happens in life is actually in our control.

But jeez. Can I get a break? Now that eclipse season has passed, I expect things to ease up a bit. I hope to emerge stronger than ever.

But we shall see!

Many of these issues were probably related to eclipse season. However, transiting Saturn is currently in Pisces and approaching orb with my natal Moon. It is possible that these challenges are connected to Saturn’s malevolent rays. If this is Saturn, I will need to be ready to go through the wringer for the next…

[checks ephemeris…]

No sweat. I got this…

[Sweats profusely]

Thinking about Saturn

Saturn is, by far, the strongest planet in my natal chart. Here are the planets in my natal chart, with their respective essential dignities:

“Essential dignity” is only about the placement of the planet in the zodiac. When we factor in “accidental dignities” (how the planet interacts with other planets, its position in the houses, and other things like that) Saturn shoots to the very top of the class.

• It disposits (rules the signs of) 4 other planets and the DC.

• It receives Mercury and mutually receives Venus.

• It is angular in the 4th house

• It is swift in motion

To say that I am familiar with Saturn’s energy is an understatement. I am Saturn’s girl. If you ever see me and I have “resting bitch face,” now you know why. People often think I’m angry when I’m not!

For most of my life, I’ve tried to suppress Saturn’s energy.

• Be nice!

• Be positive!

• Be pleasant!

• Don’t be harsh!

• Don’t be judgmental!

• Smile!

These warnings play in my head constantly, because I am Saturnian, and I’ve had it beaten into me: nobody likes Saturn.

Saturn is the cosmic killjoy. The eternal taskmaster. The heavenly headmaster of heaviness. The dark dispenser of doom.

If I’m going to be successful in life, I must be careful not to be too Saturnian!

But suppressing Saturn only leads to depression and pain. Saturn has her reasons, and she needs to be heard. The ancients believed that the spleen (ruled by Saturn) actually caused laughter, because it processed and purged the body’s heaviness. We don’t think of Saturn as being associated with laughter today, but that’s probably because we unwisely fear and resist Saturn’s purging powers.

With all I’ve been through lately, I’ve felt more and more of Saturn’s call to let her voice sing more freely through mine. I haven’t had much life success anyway, I may as well be free, right? I’m going to try to let go of the old worries. I’m going to be myself. Saturn has many important things to say! Saturn’s qualities are important!

• Saturn builds boundaries. This helps us not to over-exert ourselves and keeps us humble.

• Saturn skeptically distrusts anything she hears until she can prove it with cold hard facts. This prevents us from falling into delusions or being deceived by con artists.

• Saturn builds solid things that last, not cheap things that will fall apart.

• Saturn finds the faults in a system, so that the system can improve.

• Saturn is about delayed gratification. Which is necessary for health and true, deep joy.

• Saturn loves old age, and the wisdom that accompanies it.

• Saturn sees the big picture, and doesn’t get ensnared in fleeting fads.

• “Truth hurts” was penned by Saturn.

• She also wrote “No pain, no gain.” And “Slow and steady wins the race.”

If more people embraced Saturn, we would have fewer scam victims. Fewer addictions. A more sustainable economic system. More satisfying relationships. Deeper connections to the wisdom of the past.

Saturn is here to protect us, to guide us, to help us grow. Saturn will purge us of our ridiculousness, our folly, our rashness. Saturn wants us to be strong, mature, wise. Saturn loves us.

Nobody likes Saturn, but everybody needs her. If we resist her lessons, we only invite more pain. If we learn from them, we release deep wells of laughter.

In astrology there is a concept called “remediation.” This is where you intentionally attempt to channel the astrological energy productively, so it doesn’t become harmful. As a form of remediation of Saturn on my natal moon, I am going to embrace my Saturnian voice. I will have more publications that are skeptical. I will debunk some ridiculous myths out here. I will warn you of things that aren’t good for you. I will use Saturn as productively and helpfully as I can!

I hope you love the negative vibes. But if you don’t… well… that’s another Saturnian lesson— not caring what other people think! 🤪

A quick personal note

As I mentioned, I’ve had a difficult past 6 months. But one bright spot has emerged. I’ve gotten quite close to someone I worked with at the volunteer organization (the one that fell apart) and we have decided to start dating. I can’t believe it, and I’m holding my breath, expecting the other shoe to drop. But so far, he has been amazing.

My 7th house and Venus are both ruled by Saturn, and my love life has been nothing but a huge source of pain, most of my life. The few long term relationships I’ve had in my life have all been traumatic. I haven’t had a serious relationship in over 7 years… and not for lack of trying. But when I hit my 40’s, I gave up. It was too depressing, trying to find partners that weren’t a huge disappointment.

I don’t know if this relationship will last, but it feels different than all the others. I’m trying not to hope, but… folks, this one feels different…. We shall see.

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