Elevators, Nerves, and Herbs

In the dream, I stepped on to an elevator in a building that I thought was a 2-story building. Then suddenly, the elevator went out of control. It went flying way up high, and I realized there must be more than 2 stories, because it kept going up. Then it suddenly started dropping. I was terrified, free-falling for a long time.

Eventually the elevator hit the bottom, and I somehow wasn’t hurt. I looked out. Somehow I knew I was 6 stories below the ground level—very deep. There was a swimming pool, and the room was fairly dark. I thought, “that’s not a very good pool, since there aren’t any windows down here.” Then the elevator started going up again, way too fast. I thought, “I really have to get off this thing!” Then I woke up.

This was my dream, and when I awoke, I knew what it meant. The dream elevator symbolized my body’s attempts to regulate the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. (Note: dream symbols do not always mean the same thing for everyone. In my dream the elevator pointed to a set of physical symptoms I’ve been experiencing. An elevator in another person’s dream may have a completely different meaning. I am interpreting my own dream here.)

SNS and PNS

The sympathetic nervous system is like the upper floors of a building. It is activated when we are “in our heads,” when we are awake and alert, and when we are focusing intently on a task.

The parasympathetic nervous system is like the lower floors of a building. It is activated when we are “in our bodies,” when we are resting, relaxing, and focusing on just experiencing our being.

Most people only hear about the SNS or the PNS in the context of extreme stress. We have probably all heard about how the SNS controls our “fight or flight” response and that the PNS brings us out of it. This is true, but also, both systems are constantly working at a low level in the background, keeping our body in homeostasis. Both systems are absolutely vital, and in a healthy body the complex set of events, that allow for transitions between the two, is seamless. When we wake up, the body starts emphasizing the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), to get ready to be alert for the day. Chemicals are released, nerves are fired, digestion, heart rate, musculature… everything gets primed and ready to deal with Life. Later in the day, the body starts emphasizing the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) more. Different chemicals are released, nerves are fired differently, and all of our various systems respond to prepare us to rest, digest, and sleep. It should all happen smoothly, happily, easily.

However, in a body that is experiencing nervous system disruption, whatever the cause, the transition between the two can become difficult. And this is what I have been experiencing. Falling asleep is hard. Waking up is hard. Focusing is hard. Relaxing is hard. I am wired and tired. My heart is racing. Everything just feels “off.” And then eventually it all accumulates into a full-on panic attack.

The dream showed me that this is what is going on for me. An out of control elevator symbolizes that I am going “up” (sympathetic nervous system) way too high and way too fast, and then I am “crashing” (parasympathetic nervous system) equally fast. This is damaging and distressing to the body. I’m jerking back and forth between the two, out of control. This creates all kinds of downstream symptoms.

Why would my body be doing this?

That is the question. Lately a situation arose in my life relating to a painful relationship trauma from the past. For the past several weeks I have been trying to deal with the situation and resolve it, and although I’m making progress, the accumulated stress has started giving me panic attacks. Even when I am not in a panic, my sleep has nonetheless been spotty, my digestion has been slow, and my mood has been “on edge.” These are all physiological signs of stress and trauma causing (among other things) difficulty navigating between SNS and PNS states.

I do not have an anxiety disorder, and this is not normal for me. These symptoms arose in response to the situation, and I’ve been a little confused lately why my body is reacting so strongly to the situation. I have tried to soldier on, telling myself, “surely I put all that behind me long ago. No need to fuss more about it now.” But my body is fussing nonetheless!

To attempt to control the panic attacks and anxiety, I took tons of relaxing herbs, like Chamomile, Passionflower, St. John’s Wort, Valerian, Vervain, Lavender, and more. These are lovely friends, and they have helped… a bit… However, I have noticed that while they do make me sleepy, I still don’t feel settled. It’s like the underlying stress and anxiety are still there. I was taking these herbs in a desperate state, not really being intentional or intelligent about applying them. I was sort of just throwing the kitchen sink at the situation. The herbs took the edge off but didn’t really stop the panic attacks, unfortunately. I had to get a prescription medication just to get through my day.

The dream showed me what was at the root (basement level) of the problem: the pool with inadequate light or air. Pools of water in dreams can represent emotions. The dream showed me that I really need to focus more on dealing with the emotional aspect of my situation instead of just taking herbs to try to cover up the uncomfortable physical symptoms. The herbs are helpful, but I won’t be able to “get off the elevator” until I deal with the emotional situation.

Making a plan

Now that I have clarity about what’s going on, thanks to my dream, here’s what I am doing:

• I have signed up with a therapist to help me work through my feelings on this situation. Therapy is expensive, and I wish I had better options, but I do think I need to do this. Clearly I was traumatized more than I thought by what happened, and I should deal with that trauma.

• Self-administered EMDR as troubled thoughts arise. I am a big fan of EMDR, since it really works well for me. It is best done with the support of a professional, but I have found that the self-administered version still gets good results! Before I meet with the therapist, I am doing a few rounds of self-administered EMDR every day.

• In my daily meditation I am visualizing a beautiful, sparkling pool out in the sunlight—instead of being stuck in the basement, this pool has plenty of light and air. This will tell my subconscious mind that it is safe to bring these emotions “to light,” and it is safe to “air out” my feelings on this matter. I am also visualizing stepping into an elevator and having full control over the ride, with peaceful transitions between floors. This signals to my subconscious mind that I am ready to regain control and peace in my situation. (I learned this technique of re-imagining one’s dreams from Jane Teresa Anderson, dream analyst.)

• Incorporate more seaweed into my diet. Seaweed is not only fantastically nutritious, it also helps with emotional flexibility. Whenever someone has issues with feeling stuck, or has difficulty with transitions of any kind (emotional or physical), seaweed can bring more ability to be flexible and gracious with transitions— even physiological transitions, such as transitioning between SNS and PNS states. I like to add crushed up seaweed to rice as it’s cooking. It’s also great in stews.

• Incorporate medicinal herbs more intentionally. First, I apologized to the set of herbs that I used exploitatively and without proper intention or gratitude. I didn’t stop to consider their strengths and whether they were appropriate for my situation— which is dishonoring to their spirit. Then, after some more careful thought, I decided to work with the following herbs:

  • Tulsi (Holy Basil), Calamus, and Wood Betony. All of these herbs help with gently encouraging the body to get back into a proper circadian rhythm, and to transition more smoothly between the SNS and PNS states. (Calamus has a challenging flavor, but I have noticed that adding Cardamom and a pinch of sugar really helps me get it down more easily!)

  • White Willow— best known as a pain killer, this herb tends to be associated with relieving physical pain. However, emotions ARE physical. Emotions live in the body and express themselves through the body. Thus, painkillers can help someone cope with emotional pain as much as physical pain. Once I slowed down and tuned in to my body, I felt a throbbing painful feeling coming from my heart. That makes sense, since I’m dealing with a relationship issue. I felt like this pain was part of my cluster of symptoms to deal with. But how to choose which painkiller to work with? Willow grows by water and is attributed to the Moon’s rulership. Since my dream showed me water as the source of the issue, I turned to an herb that is highly talented at water management.

  • If the anxiety gets out of control, I can call on Passionflower and Blue Vervain (two herbs that have strong resonance with my astrological natal chart) to help myself get through a bad moment. However, engaging in the other steps first lessened my need to call on the anti-anxiety herbs as often.

I am still working through this, but I noticed results on the first day! Healing takes time, but it is encouraging when you can at least feel a bit of results from the beginning, too. After a week, I did not need to take the panic medication anymore. My sleep is improving, and I’m better able to focus. Having engaged in similar interventions before, I fully expect a near complete resolution of my particular set of symptoms within a month.

Holistic Approach

I am sharing my story to demonstrate the approach I take to health coaching and wellness consultations. I see physical symptoms as pieces of a whole person, with all pieces affecting all the other ones. Symptoms are not isolated problems to be dealt with out of context. We have to figure out what is at the root of the issue. In my case, a dream told me the root is emotional in nature. I could have used an astrological chart as well, to arrive at the same conclusion. Once I identified the root of the problem, as well as the specific bodily systems expressing it, I was able to formulate a more intentional and appropriate, holistic response.

When you work with me, we will explore the broader picture of your life (to your comfort level) and develop a plan to pursue more comfort and better health, with the root causes in mind. If you are interested in working with me, whether it is for health coaching or other astrological consultations, please check out my website, www.seebystarlight.com